Home Top News The Maternal Grandparent Advantage - The New York Times

The Maternal Grandparent Advantage – The New York Times

Thus, you hear sorrowful tales like this one of a 72-year-old grandmother whose name I am not using to prevent further discord. She moved to Southern California last year to help her son and his wife with their new baby, her first grandchild. “I expected I’d be hands-on, babysitting in the evenings,” she told me.

It hasn’t worked out that way. Her daughter-in-law, whom she didn’t know well before her pregnancy, “did not want me to be close,” she said, and didn’t accept gifts and offers of help.

Among women friends her age with sons, “almost every single one says the same thing: The daughters-in-law keep them away from the children,” she said. “And the sons don’t stick up for their mothers; they have to be loyal to their wives.” Feeling excluded, the grandma plans to relocate and will visit the family every few months.

Yikes.

Let’s acknowledge how many variables can affect generational ties, like simple geography, health and whether the grandparents are working or retired. Finances matter, because disposable income makes it easier to visit from afar.

Then, consider the endless complexities of family dynamics. Despite the supposed matrilineal advantage, I know several hardworking new grandmas providing regular care for their sons’ children, and all seems amicable.

Further, we all know women stiff-arming their own mothers. Social science examines trends in groups of people, but can’t predict what happens in an individual family.

Still, a nurse on Long Island named Susan (she asked me to omit her surname, lest she contribute to familial strain), provides a kind of test case: She has an adult son and daughter, each living about 15 minutes away.

Source link

RELATED ARTICLES

52% of Germans won’t miss Chancellor Angela Merkel, new poll indicates a day before general election — RT World News

As her long service as chancellor comes to an end, more than a half of all...

Matt Amodio, the Latest ‘Jeopardy!’ Star, Breaks $1 Million

“Jeopardy!” has another seemingly unstoppable sensation.On Friday, Matt Amodio, a Ph.D. student in computer science at Yale, won his 28th game, amassing over $1...

Opinion | Education Doesn’t Inoculate Us from Vaccine Hesitancy

About a year ago, Jessica was quoted in an interview as saying that while other advanced nations had social safety nets, the United States...

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

Most Popular

UFC champ Shevchenko hails Hollywood star Halle Berry for commitment to MMA role — RT Sport News

Valentina Shevchenko has issued a stirring endorsement of Halle Berry's MMA skills after starring alongside the...

Italy records 52 COVID-related deaths

Italy has reported 52 COVID-related deaths, and the daily tally of new infections has fallen from just over 4,000 to 3,797.The country has registered...

52% of Germans won’t miss Chancellor Angela Merkel, new poll indicates a day before general election — RT World News

As her long service as chancellor comes to an end, more than a half of all...

Climate is the key issue for voters. Is that helping Germany’s Greens?

Climate change has been ranked ahead of immigration and COVID-19 as German voters’ top election issue ahead of Sunday"s vote.But, for the German Greens,...